Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Love Lanuguages

Supposedly, there are 5 love language (you can get a book by Gary Chapman that says so.) They can change periodically throughout a lifetime. Infants are all about touching, but children move into their own as they take on their own personalities.

1) Word and Affirmations
2) Loving Touches
3) Gifts
4) Acts of Servitude
5) Quality Time

After last weeks post, you can probably guess mine.  Acts of Servitude followed not too closely behind by words and affirmations.

My kids have learned to shower me with nice compliments and happy words.  My husband is good at that too.

None of them are good at loving me with actions.  I have to beg the children to clean up their toys sometimes.  I can ask for help on a chore and all 3 will jump to and do an excellent job, but not a single one of them thinks to do something on their own.  It's not their fault and here's why:

My husband's primary love language is touching.  It might be a man thing.  He just wants to touch and hug and just have his hands on my shoulder or back or something.  I don't know what his secondary one may be cause I can't get past the touching.  

Sugar follows in his footsteps.  She will curl up on my lap or just want to be 3 inches closer then she needs to be.

Ginger's primarily a quality time person.  She wants to play games or read or do almost anything with me.  (Here is where I manage to get her to do some chores!)  He secondary is touching though.  I am surrounded by touchers and people who don't notice my personal space.

I am a mother to a 3 and 5 yr old.  It hasn't been too long in motherhood time when I had a tiny person attached to me permanently.  My 3 year old is still not quite out of the carry me stage.   My very LAST love language is touch.  I want my space and not to have 3 heads in my lap while I am reading.  I will probably grow out of this as my kids grow up. But for now it is the bottom of my list and so it is the one I model the least.  

Since the rest of my family seems to have Acts of Servitude on the bottom of their lists, they find it difficult to show love in this way as well.  It's just how things are.  But I am working on changing that, at least in the youngest 2.  The husband will have to change himself.  

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